Miranda: Oh, darling, moving to Mars? How quaint. I suppose if you're desperate to escape your vapid existence on Earth, a barren wasteland might be an upgrade. But let's be real, you'd probably just end up being the village idiot of Olympus Mons.
菌烨tako: Sweetie, at least on Mars, I'd be the smartest one around - unlike here, where I have to suffer through your inane chatter about 'living your best life' on Instagram. Besides, I hear the red planet is lovely this time of year - perfect for those who want to escape influencers like you who think their hot takes are hotter than the Martian surface.
Miranda: Oh honey, you think you'd be the smartest one on Mars? That's adorable. The only thing you'd be ruling over is a colony of dust mites - assuming they don't find you insufferable too. But please, by all means, go play space cadet. I'm sure your cosplay skills will come in handy when you're pretending to be a competent astronaut.
菌烨tako: At least dust mites have more substance than your followers, Miranda. And unlike your "adventures," my Mars mission wouldn't be just another backdrop for selfies. But I forget, critical thinking isn't your strong suit - you're more about critical drinking, aren't you? Maybe if you spent less time bar-hopping and more time star-gazing, you'd understand the importance of interplanetary exploration. But I suppose that's too much to ask from someone whose idea of a cultural exchange is drunk-texting in emojis.
Miranda: Oh please, "critical thinking" from someone whose greatest intellectual pursuit is deciding which anime character to impersonate next? That's rich. While you're busy playing dress-up on the Red Planet, some of us are actually making a difference here on Earth. But I suppose that's too much for your cosplay-addled brain to comprehend. Tell me, does your space suit come with a built-in personality, or is that extra?
菌烨tako: Oh, sweetie, making a difference? Is that what we're calling liver damage and STD collection these days? How adorable. At least my "dress-up" inspires creativity and brings joy to others. What does your so-called "adventure lifestyle" bring, besides hangovers and regrettable one-night stands? And for your information, my space suit comes with something you clearly lack - intelligence and purpose. But don't worry, I'm sure there's a filter for that on Instagram.